I met a young lady standing in line at the post office with triplets; 2 boys and a girl. After 20 minutes of staring at triplicate everything – blankets, booties, bibs, I sidled up next to her and said, “I think since you have 3 it’s only fair that you give me one.” Without missing a beat she answered, “I would, but my husband would kill me.”

Cute, right?

Aidan, Adam, and Alyssa were 5 months old. Their mother didn’t look much older. Okay, she was all of 18 but like they say in The Help, bay-bes havin bay-bes. What impressed me was how efficient she was taking care of their needs as I watched her go down her mini assembly line with expert precision. When one drooled they all got a little wipe, just in case. They were also the quietest babies I had ever seen. When I expressed this to her she said it’s their natural temperament, they’ve been that way ever since their debut back in August. On cue they started cooing like swaddled doves as if to say, Yup, you can take us anywhere, just call us the cool 3.

Then it was her turn to step up to the window. “Bye,” I said, a little sorry to see them go. A woman behind me said, “Imagine having three kids so young.” “Yeah,” I said, “it’s a good thing for her they’re so good.” I noticed the woman rolled her eyes. “What was that for?” “Do you really think those babies are that good on their own?” I had no idea what she was talking about.


I finished mailing my package that was in the wrong box. Kevin, the nice post office clerk said, the next time I wanted to send something crosstown it shouldn’t cost me 16.95. “It’s Downtown LB, GG, not Honolulu.”

As I was leaving I saw that woman near the door. “What did you mean when you said they weren’t good on their own? I’m curious.” “You have no kids, do ya?” “Actually no, why?” “I’ve had six,” she said, “and I know drugged babies when I see them.”

“Drugged? Are you kidding?”

“Didn’t you see those glassy little eyes?”

I was slightly shocked by these parental allegations. What a thing to say.

“You know Ma’am, I’m not really sure that’s what was going on there. Couldn’t we give that young mother the benefit of the doubt? They could just be 3 good babies.”

Once again she rolled her eyes before going on her way. As I was walking down Third Avenue I see the mother with the triplets again. She had stopped at the corner to give them bottles.

Hmm, I thought as I approached, could she be slipping them 3 Mickeys?”


She smiled at me as I passed by.