[renovatio_alert style=”grey”] Watch a video of Josh Groban singing “I’ll Be Home For Christmas”. [/renovatio_alert]

OMG. I just realized, no matter how hard I try, I don’t have anything original to say about Christmas.  I’ve almost worried myself into a heart attack this week trying to come up with something awesome to say about my first Christmas in LA.  I.got.nothing—zip. zap. nada.   The last few months have been hectic and stressful – trying to get situated and trying to get into the groove of things that before I knew it, it’s almost Christmas.

It’s taken 5 months, countless weekly blog posts, and 3 countries, but it has finally hit me.

I AM MISSING HOME.

Not the place, but the “home” that is my family. The main reason for this is, of course, Christmas.

The true meaning of Christmas has been debated backwards and forwards by greater minds than I and now’s not my turn to take on this battle, but instead I’d like to take a few moments to explain what Christmas means to me now that I am away from home and the usually busy and festive run up to Christmas (I half enjoy, half endure), the same that has all but passed me by in the City of Angels.

This will be my first Christmas on my own. Despite spending Christmas away previously it has always been with my family and/or friends. No matter where I may be living I’ve always been near enough to be able to join my family for Christmas lunch or dinner and spend as much time with either side of my family as possible. It is since moving to L.A.  that I have truly appreciated the warmth, (sometimes literal, but always metaphorical), to be found in my family home.

Thanks to my Momcy’s and Lola’s masterful cooking and organizational skills, Christmas is precious annual downtime for me providing I can get enough time off work. I go home, put a soft, old, comfortable sweater on, binge on all the cakes and pastries I find on the table, listen to the recent additions to my Dad’s CD collection and drink endless cups of Swiss Miss with my sister. My cousins come home too, we play board games, sing our lungs out in karaoke, argue  and make fun of each other like we were children again, and laugh at each other with love in our eyes. It’s downtime and it is family time. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I am just very lucky. Aside from the love, support and encouragement my family give me, I am also lucky enough to just enjoy their company. And it is their company that I will particularly miss on Christmas Day…

There are  no regrets of course. I am happy to be here in L.A. where things are finally looking up (albeit slowly) and I am happy to be spending time with the “New Beau” and some new friends this Christmas. One of the new friends is bragging about being an ace in Christmas Day Scrabble games and our hosts this year just had a pool built in the back garden of their place just in time for the party – I don’t know if I’d want to take a dip in it though since it’s freezing cold at the moment. I’ve been promised a traditional American Christmas fare and I am actually looking forward to the “no presents” rule we’ve all agreed to (not because I’m so cheap I don’t want to shell out a few bucks for gifts, but more because I simply don’t know what to get people and simply don’t have the patience to shop around). Already I’ve had the pleasure of meeting some of the New Beau’s oldest friends who’ve allowed me a special insight into his life before me and before Lala Land. It has made me realize that this move to L.A. is about so much more than just moving on to greener pastures, and I wouldn’t change that for the world.

Likewise I wouldn’t change what Christmas means to me. It may not be the true meaning of Christmas but Christmas time is family time for me and maybe it took being on the other side of the world to realize that and how important that is to me.