So, yesterday I visited the eye doctor. Actually, I visited the local Lakewood Costco (with resident Doctor of Optometry). It was time. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to see clearly – like really crystal clear. Of course, given what there is to look at in the world, it hasn’t really been a pressing need. But I digress.

Aside from the fact that I walked right by the place on my way to the escalators in the mall (how convenient is that!), I was already grumpy enough just going to the eye doctor. I was irritated that they kept asking me about insurance despite my telling them I DON’T FREAKING NEED INSURANCE BECAUSE I HAVE NO PROBLEM PAYING YOU THE FULL AMOUNT THANK YOU VERY MUCH. So I was prepared to be further irritated when I arrived and met Holy (yes, that was her name HOLY not HOLLY). Holy was a doe-eyed 20-something, only slightly vapid, but mostly uncertain petite brunet who looked very cute (if not entirely certain) in her pink Forever21 summer dress. Aside from the Doctor of Optometry (who was very nice, efficient and actually seemed to know what she was doing), the entire visit was rather a train wreck. Poor Holy seemed to be overly concerned with ensuring that I paid for every portion of my visit immediately after incurring each individual expense. And, to make matters worse, I was UNFRIENDLY. She actually pawned me off on a fellow lobby Barbie. It was quite amusing. As I explained to slightly less confused Holy #2, “I’m uncomfortable. It’s nothing personal.” Unfortunately, that seemed only to level the confusion playing field.

By the time I left, having been relieved of some $500+ dollars, I was convinced of two things: 1. The Eyeglasses industry, similarly to the pharmaceutical industry, is running quite the racket; and 2. I probably prefer the world to be a little on the blurry side.